Hi! I’m Elizabeth and thank you for visiting. I write about my kids, my home, my grief, and creating a Purposeful Home. Welcome to Finding My Purpose!
All in Loss
Mommy, when Ben comes home, I’m going to show him this book.
You’re such a good brother, I would say.
This conversation or something very similar would happen more times than I could count. And probably for at least the six weeks following Ben’s death. This was just one of many questions or innocent thoughts I had from my then three-year-old son about his brother.
Benjamin Robert. He was beautiful. Round face and big cheeks. Longest eye lashes I’d ever seen. And a smile so bright that could bring so much joy. He was my heart and my soul. My son.
This is a question I’ve had to answer MAAAANY more times than I ever had to answer the one ‘Are they triplets?’ And I don’t know why this is.
Entering this time of year is hard for me -- Once Halloween is here, life rolls on through Thanksgiving and then right into the Christmas season without even slowing down. Last year happened to be our ‘year of firsts’…the first birthday, the first Halloween, the first Thanksgiving…all without my beautiful Ben.
I’m not a wallower.
Never have been. And we’ve had a pretty difficult last few years – from managing a premature birth and a five-month NICU stay to a child with significant needs, caring for triplets, dealing with child loss, trying to figure out this new life. I probably have plenty to be angry about, as many others do in this world. And I am angry. And some days I do wonder ‘why me?’ But …we are also Blessed.
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